


Part 13/?

by WinterReadingerDixon67



Series: Help Me: On Hiatus : NOT ABANDONED [13]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Language, Not Steve Friendly, Protective Bucky Barnes, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 06:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13048125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterReadingerDixon67/pseuds/WinterReadingerDixon67
Summary: Steve leaves for a mission and discovers something that could shift everything. Bucky struggles with the past events.





	Part 13/?

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who’s throwing over more feels? This girl! Why? Because the parts after this are going to be rough. Anywho, there’s still so much more of this to do and if you didn’t hate Steve before well….you’re gonna hate him a little bit more I’m afraid. So not Steve friendly and there will be more major feels coming your way.

* * *

The following few days were long. Not due to the lack of workload, but how time seemed to drag by. After the memories were shared with the rest of the team, they seemed to walk on eggshells around you. Not wanting to say the wrong thing. You understood they were being respectful of your space, but it didn’t help when that’s all they seemed to be doing. 

You wanted to talk, train and laugh until your sides hurt, read on the couch as Bucky ran his fingers through your hair, watch as Wanda disfigured cubes in the air with her magic. You wanted the days to go back to normal. You wanted Steve to understand, to chisel the ice away from his eyes and to just  _ see _ . Sadly, that wasn’t going to happen soon. Learning from Bucky, Steve was stubborn, hard, boxed up his true emotions, lashed out in anger towards anything and anyone involved with those who sought out to destroy life, rather than save it. 

You thought of Jaimie, which Steve somewhat had a small resemblance to your son. For he was stubborn in a way, he was brave and hated bullies. But he was also shy and timid when around strangers, unlike Steve who was aware and put on a mask to hide his true intentions. The tower was quiet, with a sense of eeriness lurking behind corners and the shadows. Which led you to the pool Tony had built on the top floor. Surrounded by huge windows to let the light in, giving the room a comforting warmth that the sun provided. Secluded from everyone else, alone with your thoughts, away from the awkward stares that followed you.

That’s how Bucky found you, floating on your back, drifting on the smooth surface soaking in the warm rays of the sun. Not wanting to disturb you, he slipped into the water and made his way towards you. Pulling you towards him so your head rested on his shoulder, letting the rest of you float away. 

“Was wondering where you were.” He spoke softly in your ear as he steered the both of you lazily through the water. 

“Needed to be alone, everyone is too tense. Makes me want to calm them down.” You sighed heavily, giving your hands a dirty look as you placed them on top of his. “SHIELD would have a field day if that happened,  **_‘Avenger Brings Team Down Due To High Levels Of Stress And Her Inability To Control Her Emotions’_ ** _. _ ” You laughed weakly, too far into your emotions that you didn’t even bother to hide. 

“I’d get locked away, you all would probably be getting help for the rest of your lives due to my carelessness. Steve would finally get what he wanted...” Bucky whirled you around, water splashing around the both of you as he forced you to face him. 

“Don’t...don’t even  _ think _ that. I’d kill anyone who even tries to get their hands on you. And Steve...well, he has to just suck it up, ‘cause you’re with me. And. You. Are. Mine.” Bucky growled protectively, wrapping his arms tighter around you. You felt safe, loved, cared for, everything you wanted that was taken from you. But now you had it again, and he was the one who was offering it to you. 

“And if he doesn’t?” You asked hesitantly, daring a glance at him to find him already looking at you. He didn’t respond right away, which left time for doubt to creep in. 

“As of right now? I don’t really know him anymore, he’d have to work hard to gain my trust back. Let alone his status of my friend.” You pushed back a lock of wet hair behind his ear, seeing the faraway look in his eyes, but you could feel the hurt within him pulsating slightly. The act of giving up his best friend for you panged at your heart. 

“But you don’t want to lose him as a friend.” The water rippled with the movement of Bucky placing his head on your shoulder, the two of you continuing to drift in the deep end. 

“No...no, no, I don’t ever want to lose him as a friend. We promised ‘til the end of the line,” his shoulders shuddered as he was failing at keeping his emotions in check. “But what if  _ this _ is the end of the line?” The room filled with fitful sobs, as the man before you broke down as a new weight was put on his shoulders. You swore that you would do everything you could to help Bucky and for Steve to understand. Despite whatever consequences you might face. 

 

* * *

 

Bucky was passed out on the couch after an emergency mission he was called on, having him coming in later than normal. You needed Natasha’s help to bribe him into getting checked in before he actually did pass out from exhaustion. He did, took a quick shower, changed and fell asleep as soon as he landed on the couch. Wanting to stay in the same room as you, the urge to protect you still his top priority. 

Feet curled under Bucky’s thick thighs, face in a book, a cup of tea off to the side, freehand running through his dark silk locks you felt somewhat content. Bruce was also in the room, happy with just reading his own science books. Everyone else was scattered around. Coming and going as they pleased, Tony coming in to check up on the group every hour or so. You chuckled, not that you didn’t mind Tony only came to see if you okay, he did make a wonderful mother hen if you thought about it. 

It was, nice. 

Steve was off on a week-long mission with Sam and Natasha. Tony on standby if he was needed, but it was an infiltrate mission. Get in, gather intel, then get out. And since the Captain and Winter weren’t exactly seeing eye to eye, it was safer for the both of them to do missions separately. Unless absolutely necessary. 

You, on the other hand, were under Tony’s version of ‘House Arrest’. Ordered to stay in the tower, not to leave unless either Bucky, Nat, or himself went with yours. Mainly due to Tony’s mother-henning, but you didn’t mind. It gave you a sense of peace, and a calm state of mind as you thought about the future. Wondering if you’d ever be willing to have children again. Of course, no child would be able to replace your Jaimie, but it would help fill the gap.

Turning the page, strong hands gripped your ankles from under the warmth and instead a body slid its way between your legs. Head placed on your chest, arms curled up behind your back. “Comfy there, your highness?”

“S’tup, s’tired and you're soft.” A grumbled reply answered you. Setting the book down, you traced the features of his face with your fingers. Feeling a warmth spread throughout your fingertips as they soothed the stress from your lover’s mind. Reeling back the strength so it was just a mild pain reliever for him, strong enough to do its job but not to knock him out. You watched as his breath evened out, back rising slowly as he slept.

“Is it hard?” 

You glanced over at Bruce, having forgotten that he was also in the room. He was watching the interaction between you and Bucky, observing your fingers as they ran small circles on his temples and across his scalp.

“I’m sorry? I’m not sure I understand.” Bruce smiled lightly, setting his own book down beside his cup of tea.

“With your hands. Is it hard to not do, what you do?” Your hands stilled briefly but continued their journey through the silken locks. Fingers thrumming as you sent more soothing waves to Bucky as he began to shift in your lap. Furrowed brow smoothing out as his mind calmed once more. 

“In a way, yes. The thicker the aura a person gives off, the more I want to help. Though it can be quite exhausting if I had to be honest. To put a grown man under the ‘ _ Sleeping Curse’ _ makes me weak and hands stiff.” You subconsciously stretched your free hand, working out the tendons there to make them more relaxed. 

“What does it feel like?” Bruce elaborated when you didn’t reply, “When you put Johanson to sleep or the time with Bucky a while back?”

“You feel a...pull like something's tugging you towards them. Depending on the aura they’re firing off, the stronger it gets. With Johanson, there was no pull to help him, more of a  _ need _ to dispose of him for the time being. Bucky, on the other hand, the need was so strong that it started to hurt. It became too much as if something was squeezing the breath out of me. 

After a lot of thought, the reason why it was so strong was due to the fact of how strong our bond is. I’m not quite sure how to explain it, but it was as if my powers linked to him in a way. So when he had the nightmare, it shot his pain towards me as well. But a more numbed one and the only way to eliminate it was to help him. To calm his aura.” You sighed heavily, watching the beautiful man asleep in your lap. His face innocent as he slept.

“However, when used the wrong way, it could become...deadly.”

“Like with Pierce?”

A shiver ran down your spine at the name, “Yes, like with Pierce.”

“How bad? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst.” You looked Bruce square in the eyes. 

“Dr. Banner, I can put someone into a deep enough sleep where their hearts slow down so quickly that they could die in minutes. Like with you and the Hulk, it takes great concentration for it not to happen. But with the situation with the Captain, it’s becoming difficult.” You noticed Bruce flinch slightly with the newest information, but chose to ignore it. 

“I know my son is dead and he still doesn’t trust me and probably never will, but if he continues on the path he’s heading towards…,” 

“Your power will take over and you’ll have no chance but to take action?” Tony replied from the doorway, his face passive, but a hint of annoyance lingered there. 

“Yes,” nodding in confirmation, “my control will slip and all those years of Pierce’s harsh training will take over and I’ll be forced to watch from the sidelines.” 

“Then looks like we’re gonna have to make sure that doesn’t happen and that the good old Captain gets his head out of his ass.” The three of you laughed, which thinned out the tension in the room. 

Bucky lifted his head and glared at the three of you, “I hate all of you. You and your loudness,” he sat up and started to drag you back towards your guys' bedroom, “wake me up again and they’ll never find your body.” Tony and Bruce muffled their laughs with their hands as you followed your man down the hallway. 

“You’re lucky I love you, despite what Steve thinks.” He wrapped his strong arms protectively around you, which you gladly received. Pushing your face into his chest, breathing in his scent, reading his arua. Waves of fear, compassion, anger, protect and joy were hitting you like waves. You knew he heard your conversation with Bruce and Tony, feeling that he was overworked by it, but trying his hardest not to upset you. 

How you loved this man, through everything you’ve both been through, he always made sure to put you first. To make sure that you were safe and taken care of. Knowing that you were always there to take care of him when the time called for it. 

You brought his face to yours, tracing his features with the tips of your fingers. Tilting his face as he nuzzled against your hand, eyes closing as he tried to reel back his emotions. But with comforting words from you, he let the tears fall, letting his emotions break through his thick walls once again. Seeking comfort with the only person he trusted for them to see him this way.

“Bucky, my Bucky,” you said nothing about the tears, but kissed the salty tracks away softly, lingering your kisses over his eyelids, “I will always love you and no one can take that away or so help me they’ll regret it.” His shoulders shook as he laughed lightly, clearly comfortable with just being held by you in the elevator. Not caring if it stopped on your floor or not.

“I’m sure they will doll, I’m sure they will. Let’s go to bed Y/N,” you knew he was still tired from his previous mission, so giving him one last kiss you lead him to your bedroom and curled against his side as sleep slowly took over. 

 

* * *

 

Steve kicked down the doors to the lab, finishing his end of the mission while Sam flew Natasha up to the main office where the computers were being stored. While they were gathering the intel from the office, he walked through the lab, flipping through the files that were laid on the desk, covered in notes and observations. 

Looking closer, Steve noticed lines that turned out to be formulas. Formulas on the Hydra serum, but not just any Hydra serum, but a newly improved one. One that was stronger and vastly improved from his own. Searching through the rest of the reports, he stumbled across three names. 

_ Three _ names.

One he knew very well, one he knew little of, but one that made his blood boil. After skimming through whatever information that laid before him, his suspicions were confirmed. Steve made a vow right there that he would protect his friend from getting hurt, no matter the consequences. Two pairs of footsteps had Steve turning around and leaving the lab and the evidence behind.

“Find anything useful Cap? Or are we free to head home?” Sam asked, anxious to leave the abandoned Hydra base.

“Nothing useful. Alright, let’s head back, debrief and see what to with the intel Nat found.” Steve responded, slipping his shield on his back, nodding at Nat. 

“Good, this place gives me the creeps.” With that, the three of them left the underground bunker. The Captain giving one last look at the lab doorway and the files now hidden on a shelf, a plan already forming in his head.   
  


**Enhancement Serum**

Blood Samples:

**_James Buchanan Barnes (Winter Soldier):_ ** MISSING

  * Super strength
  * Advanced hearing
  * Sharp/quick reflexes
  * Fast healing



Blood Test: Successful

Orders: Bring in, alive, use force if necessary 

**_Y/N Y/M/N Thompson:_ ** WIPED AND DISPOSED 

  * Ability to subdue opponents
  * Slight healing
  * Mood suppressor and inducer 



Blood Test: Successful 

Orders: Keep tabs on, do not make contact

**_Jaimie Sven Thompson:_ ** DECEASED 

  * Unknown abilities
  * Somewhat successful




End file.
